Preparing the Empty Nest: What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

For those of us who have had the (ahem) luxury of playing chef, chauffeur, housekeeper and zookeeper for a number of years, there comes a time when we ask ourselves, "What next?" For me, the prospect of my youngest child driving off into the sunset (or at least to her high school, 40 minutes from home) on her 16th birthday leaves me somewhat...unemployed. My job will be downsized to part time for the three years until she toddles off to college. What to do with this new-found freedom? We mothers who have been out of the job market for longer than we might want to admit can use this transition time to explore, plan and take steps to make sure we have the power to decide what (or who?) we want to be when we grow up. Here are some suggestions:

1. Think about your previous career: What did you do before children? I was in financial services, a stock broker to be exact. Do I want to do this again? Probably not. Maybe. I don't know yet. If you had a job you really loved before you decided to stay home with your kids, I suggest you bring yourself up to date on changes in the industry. Do you need to improve your computer skills? Take a class or buy a book. Do you need to refresh any licenses or professional designations (as I would have to?) Find out how. Do you still know anyone in your field? This is a great time to re-connect and network. Even if you have no interest in going back to the same ol', same ol', it's helpful to review your skills and experience and move on from there. Next!

2. What have you been doing lately? Even if you have not been gainfully employed, chances are you haven't eaten many bon-bons, either. Maybe you've done volunteer work? Up your hours, show off your skills and maybe you'll find yourself with a paid staff position doing something you really care about. This happened to me, getting paid to work at an animal shelter where I would have been happy just to volunteer. Do you love to garden? Take a class in landscape design and offer your services to friends and neighbors. Next, schedule informational interviews with local design companies. Your confidence and passion might just land you a job. In the meantime, you're doing something you love, meeting new people and living the good life. Are your homemade treats to die for? Find out what regulatory hoops you'll need to jump through in order to sell your goods to your local market/restaurant/snack bar. Whatever it is you've been doing, you probably did it because you enjoyed it. Run with it!

3. Networking! Yes, I know I already said that, but it's huge. Get out there, meet new people and reconnect with old friends/co-workers. You never know where it might lead. A woman I met at an exercise class runs a large non-profit organization, and I'm thinking about doing some work for her. Intriguing, yes? Social networking sites can also be fun and open up more possibilities. I signed up for Facebook during one of the "Facebook Debates," and two long-lost friends "poked" me, out of the blue! Discussion boards for people with common interests also cultivate friendships which, valuable in their own right, also help to widen the possibilities of finding a paying job doing something you are passionate about. My husband is a moderator on his Porsche bulletin board, and he has a gig coaching at a race this weekend. Cool!

4. Try something new. This is the perfect time for dabbling; after all, the goal is figuring out what you want to do and how to go about it BEFORE you're actually ready to go full time. You'll meet new people, find new interests and potentially discover your own hidden talents. I've always been enamored with Japanese taiko drumming so I joined Sonoma County Taiko and signed up for a few classes. How does this fit into re-entering the workforce? Networking, of course. New experiences always lead to new friendships which enrich your life and open up possibilities. I'm also taking a "boot camp" at the junior college to hone my Excel skills. Most jobs require competency in Excel, and I can meet new people and learn something useful at the same time. Can't wait! My brother-in-law loves wine and, several years ago, took a class on viticulture. He ended up planting a commercial pinot noir vineyard that was recently featured as one of the best in Wine Spectator Magazine. His passion is now his livelihood. How perfect is that? You just don't know where your passions can take you until you take stock of what they are.

5. Reflect. If you're like me, your work experience seems somewhat irrelevant because it is so far in the past. How can you possibly compose a resume? First, nothing is irrelevant. Everything you've done is part of who you are. For example, twenty years ago I founded and organized a regional alumni association for my university and also volunteered for their scholarship committee. Irrelevant, right? "Only" volunteer work? Well, this tiny snippet might just be the detail to snag a position on the admissions team of my daughter's high school, a place where I would love to work. Think back, think deep: You've probably done much more during your "stay-at-home" years than you give yourself credit for. Who really stays at home, anyway?

Many stay-at-home moms like myself are on the verge of a major change: the proverbial "empty nest." If we recognize our changing roles ahead of time and capitalize on our "part-time mom" status, we can choose and create our own futures. That really is a luxury, one that we have earned by putting our families first. Now it's our turn to shine.